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About Deviant Mona EberhardtFemale/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
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In a previous post, which was inspired from and based on Inara Pey’s post of the same title, I negotiated what makes a good Dominant: the one that’s called “the loving Dominant”. One would think this topic has been covered to death, but it seems the misconceptions are a veritable Lernaean Hydra, and I’m sure shoddy depictions of the D/s scene by such films as The Secretary and such books as Fifty Shades of Grey and Histoire d’O have played a significant role to this.

I won’t hide: I’ve come to the point where I actively avoid the D/s and fetish scene in Second Life, even though I have adopted a very kinky look as my main, even though I define myself as a submissive. Why’s that? Because I’ve found out I have too little in common with the vast majority of the people populating that scene. Typically, the erotic roleplay is shallow and vapid; far too many submissives only want some instant gratification without any emotional connection to the other party / parties involved; and, finally, far too many “Dominants” are actually poseurs full of contempt for submissives, using their “Dominant” identity as an excuse to hurt others.

The audacious and aggressive tone with which I, a submissive, write this post might shock Dominants who read this post, but I do think we all need a rude awakening, because there are simply far too many domineering poseurs. Any halfwit out there can dress the part, adopt an authoritative-sounding title, hang a bull whip from their belt, wave a crop like a feather duster and start barking orders left right and centre, trying to out-dominate other Dominants, demand “respect” and bully submissives into deferring to them simply because they identify themselves as a “Dominant”. That doesn’t make them a Dominant. Not by a long shot.

Time to clarify a few things.

  • You are only a Dominant within the relationship between you and the submissives who have agreed to submit to you;
  • A submissive who is not your submissive has no obligation whatsoever to defer to you;
  • If you act in a condescending, insulting, humiliating, hurtful, spiteful manner to any submissive (including yours), you don’t deserve to be called a Dominant; instead, you are a domineering poseur; a wannabe; a mockery of a Dominant.

Real Dominants exhibit self-control; they respect, understand, and nurture their submissives. They don’t demand respect; they inspire and earn it with their consideration, kindness, empathy, sympathy, tenderness, warmth, and love. Domineering poseurs demand respect simply because they identify themselves as “Dominants”, lack any kind of self-discipline and self-control, and, in the name of their “authority”, they insult, humiliate and hurt submissives (and not only submissives…).

And make no mistake: If you’re involved with a person like that, they’ll hurt you when they get a chance, because that’s how they roll; they enjoy mistreating others, so be aware that you’re next – the question isn’t if your turn to be hurt by them will come. It’s when. Such poseurs need to be removed from the D/s scene like the cancer growth they are, because they only exist to hurt others. The wheat needs to be separated from the chaff.

See also:

Originally posted at:


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Mona Eberhardt
I have been active in the virtual world known as Second Life (SL for short) for a long time now – since 2006, actually, but I came back to it after a hiatus that lasted a few months in 2008. Only fairly recently have I decided to properly chronicle my activity, existence, experiences, loves and thoughts within the metaverse. In SL, I explore the virtual world, people’s creative expression within it, my own (limited, admittedly) creative abilities, as well as my fantasies and desires.

Now, what am I? Well... I'm an opinionated SL blogger, an amateur builder, and - occasionally - a kinky bitch.


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Jamster93 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2017   Interface Designer
Happy Birthday
Jamster93 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2016   Interface Designer
Happy Birthday
Kelannpoole Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016
thank you for the watch!
ChisatoWatanabe Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2015
Very interesting images and observations on SL. Glad I  found your page!
chris1134567 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015
Happy bday :party:
monaeberhardt Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
Thank you! All the best to you too! :)
elenaevil Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014
Thanks for fav!!!!!!!Love
uluv2btied Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2014
That was a GREAT explanation. Thanks
Rubbella Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014
Thank you for watching me :) 
heveti Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the favs :-)
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